A Love Letter

I love my job.

I love my schedule.

I love my city.

I don’t love missing out on life.

Not my own life. I’m not missing out on my own life; I make sure of that.  That is why I work 36 hours a week and have 6 days off beginning every other Friday.  I love my job, my schedule, and my time off.

I don’t love missing out on our friends and families lives, stories, and journey’s.  I don’t love that we miss out on living life together.

Michigan

Minnesota

Illinois

Indiana

Pennsylvania

Ohio

California

Laos

Japan

These are just a few of the states and countries where we have loved ones residing.  It’s awful.  It sucks.

Every year since we graduated college we have gotten together with our college friends for our annual “friends get together”.  This all started one summer when we were passing through Indianapolis at the same time as our friend from Illinois.  We ate dinner at Buca di Beppo and it was wonderful.  From that point forward we made getting together each and every year a priority.  And the more the merrier.  What we didn’t think about many years ago when we started this tradition was that our group was going to grow.  What started out as a small group of 8 friends getting together for dinner many years ago has turned into a group of 14+, and not just for dinner, but for a weekend!  I guess that’s what happens when all of your friends get married or are in serious relationships.  The great thing is that this amazing group of individuals is only going to get bigger over time.  We already started this process by having our little man.  So what’s the point of me writing this and babbling on about how great my friends and family members are and how much these get together mean to me?

My point is that it’s stupid that we don’t live closer.  I know, I know, it’s not realistic; this is what we always say in response.   We all have jobs we love, we all have lives in the city we’re living in, and we all have reasons to not move.  But is that really living?  It is really living to not be around the people who mean the most to you?  Is it really living if you spend your days and nights reminiscing about the good times you had that “one weekend” when you’d rather be making new memories with these people on a regular basis?  It is really living if your kids don’t get to grow up around the people you love and enjoy spending time with?

So what would this actually look like? Use your imagination here with me for just a few minutes (we all know we could benefit from taking a step back from reality right about now).  What if we all picked a country, city, town, village, or plot of land and committed to moving there together?  Or if you’d like we could just throw a dart at a map; I’m fine with that.  Just pretend with me for a minute that we all live within a 5 minute walk from each other.  We could eat dinner together.  We could go to church together.  We could play music together.  We could drink wine together.  We could MAKE wine together.  We could start a book club (yes, a book club).  We could share joys and sorrows of life.  We could hold, cuddle, and love each other’s babes.  Our kids could grow up with “aunts”, “uncles”, and “cousins”.  Our kids could become best friends because we are best friends.  Can you imagine this reality?  I can because I’ve dreamt it before but then I wake up and there are hundreds of miles between us still.

Yes, I know that I can talk about this all day and have you dream about the life I wrote about above but in the end we’re all in our own worlds and that’s not going to change.  It doesn’t change because we won’t make the change.  It doesn’t change because we always have excuses and because we’re not willing to give up certain things; because we have the best job, the best house, the best pizza parlor, the best coffee? Are these the most important things in life? I sure don’t think so.  These are trivial, silly, minuet things in life.  How do these things even measure up to close, personal, and intimate relationships with your friends and family?

I get sick of missing you, and you, and you, and you.  I get tired of texting each other and telling you how much I miss you and asking how life is and wanting to know when I’ll see you next.  I’m tired of the countdowns until the next time we’re together.  I love facetime and the ability to constantly stay in contact with people but it is not the same and it never will be the same.  Nothing compares to sitting next to each other, sipping coffee, and getting lost in hours of conversation.  Technology can’t reach out and hug me when I need it.  If you’re a female you’ll know what I mean when I say I miss “girl hugs”.  Girls are just better huggers; I’m telling you it’s true.  Just ask any girl.

I’ve accepted that my imaginary world will most likely never, ever, become a reality.  But just know that I would absolutely love to live near all of my friends and family one day and I’d be willing to make it work.

And for all of you Gilmore Girl fans out there I’m sure Logan’s response would be: “That is a hell of a long way to go just to say, “I miss you.”

 

Trailing Minds Dream Big

Good morning all! I hope this Wednesday morning is treating you well. It’s October and in Indiana it was 65 degrees out when I left for the conference I’m attending today. If you don’t know it shouldn’t be 65 degrees in October in Indiana. But that’s another rant for another day.

As mentioned already, I’m attending a conference today. It’s focus is on children and how to ensure their safety. With that comes the talk about the current opioid crisis.  Don’t get me wrong it’s a very important topic but at 8AM and day two, my eyes are glazing and my mind started wondering. This is when I start dreaming so of course, I started jotting things down. Here’s my list.

As you can see, most of these have to do with work. I don’t want my life to revolve around work. I don’t want to “live to work”. I don’t even want to “work to live”. I want to do something to make my life’s earnings that I enjoy and has meaning.  

I find that my motivation is usually in full swing when I have time to stop, think, and plan. This doesn’t happen very often though so when it does I must capitalize on it. 

I’m determined to make some changes and strive to use my creative side more often. I’m excited to see what life has in store. 

Stay tuned. 

I promise my next post will be more fun and light hearted. 

Another Day, Same Old Thing

Do you ever feel discontent? Like you’ve gone as far as you can go in the job you have? Or you’ve hit a brick wall and there’s no moving that wall, smashing it down, or climbing over? 

That’s where I’m at. That’s me right now. 

I’m burnt out, exhausted, and ready for life to offer me something new and different. I currently work a very complicated, rotating  schedule and it doesn’t allow for any stability or routine. I grew up going to school during the “work week” and then I worked a “normal” schedule for years. Didn’t think it was anything special. Now, I miss those days. The days where I had a weeeknd, evenings, and holidays off. A period of time where I didn’t have to look months in advance to see if I would have a specific holiday off. It’s tiring and makes me sad. But here I am, trucking away. 

I’ve come to realize a few things in the last 6 months and here they are:

• I need structure, stability, and to know what each week will look like for me and my family. 
• I need friends and to build community in this great city. But how do I do this when I can’t commit due to my wacky schedule? Seriously, how do people make friends outside of school? It’s like dating all over again.
• I need an outlet. I need to make time for me.

So here I am. Struggling. Burnt out. Exhausted. Never knowing what day it is. Forgetting things. Losing things. Some would say this is life. I don’t want to be content with where I’m at. I have to make a change. Stay tuned. 

Have you ever felt this way? I can’t be the only one, right?! How did you get through? What changes did you make? I’d love to here your suggestions! 

Somewhere Over the Monon

Somewhere over the Monon the blue birds fly? Oh wait, that’s not how the song goes. 

There are several things I love about my city but one of my favs is the Monon Trail. Do you know it? It’s a trail that can take you to Broad Ripple, Carmel, Fountain Square, Mass Ave., well, you get the point. You can walk, bike, roller blade, skip, run, or whatever your heart desires. I’ve even seen a St. Bernard sitting on a platform being pulled by a man on a bike while blasting 70’s music – and let me tell you, that dog was living the good life. Oh and let’s not forget the many, many babies, toddlers, and dogs (yes dogs) being pulled or pushed by runners or bikers. Needless to say I love this trail for many reasons; here are my top three.

Food.

Drinks.

Entertainment.

When my husband, D, and I moved to Indianapolis back in 2014 we lived downtown close to everything. We still to this day talk about how good we had it and how we didn’t know what we had until it was gone. We lived 4 blocks from Mass Ave. We walked everywhere and spent wayyyy too much money. We ate, drank, and enjoyed “downtown living”. 

Indianapolis is full of life. Full of foodie places, full of food places, and full of places to kick back and have a drink. And yes, there’s a difference between “foodie” and “food” places. Just ask any “big city” resident. In the 3 years we have lived in Indy, we have visited numerous amount of restaurants, bars, pubs, wineries, and breweries. Here are a few of our favs.

Indiana City – The very first brewery that we stumbled upon and still to this day it remains our favorite. It’s laid back and they have delicious beer! And the bartenders are pretty awesome as well!

Old Point Tavern – Yes, some might say this bar that’s tinted red might be a “hole in the wall” but that’s what I love about it. It’s old, it’s quaint, and a little intimating to walk into but once you do you need to order the nachos. I crave them weekly.  

La Margarita – Mexican & yummy margaritas. Enough said.

Milktooth – Now, I really didn’t want to be another person to talk up Milktooth but honestly, it’d be a sin if I didn’t include this brunch establishment on my list of favorites. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a favorite of mine.

Locally Grown Gardens – I get very excited when spring comes back around because it means my favorite little market will be serving Lemon Shake Ups and not the ones you get at the fair or carnival. These are legit, full of fresh fruit, and massive. We split one and go for a walk on the Monon.  

Now, these are just a few that come to mind when I sit down and write. These are the ones that I think about when I reminisce on our move to this vibrate city and how it welcomed us with opened arms. 

I’m excited that I still call Indy home and that I continue to grow and discover new places, activities, and people. Thanks for letting me share a little about me and my love for this city that we call home. I hope to continue to share life with you.

Come along for the ride!